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With National Pie Week coming to a close, Gary Andrews picks up his plastic fork and brown sauce and considers the importance of the pastry-based matchday snack, along with selected highlights from around the country.

The disappointment of Southampton still haunts me several months on. Picture the scene. It’s New Year’s Day 2011 and, hungover the hell and back from the night before, I haul my sorry backside onto a train from London Waterloo to watch Exeter City’s clash with the Saints at St. Mary’s.

Due to the aforementioned hangover, eating isn’t really my main priority until just before kick-off when the hunger takes over. This, I reason, should not be a problem. I am at a football ground, football grounds are purveyors of pies. Pies make great hangover food. I will be fine.

Except not in this case. When I arrive at the kiosk there are no pies, just pasties. And slightly bitter, grainy pasties at that. Being a Westcountry boy, I know my pasties. This was not the finest that has ever passed my lips.

At this stage I’d like to clarify to any angry Saints fans that this is by no means accurate reportage. There may well have been pies, and excellent pies at that, on sale at the ground. Just not at the kiosk I went to. Exeter lost 4-0 but the pie disappointment has stayed with me longer than my musings on the defeat.

There’s something wonderfully British and so very right about the classic pie and Bovril combination at a football match, and a testament to the power of the pie that it’s become a staple at grounds around the country and remains so until this day.

Those Ancient Egyptians, which is where the first pies appeared, were clearly onto something. And with the prevalence of northern-based clubs in the early days of the football league, the pie was always going to prove popular. Nobody does pies quite like the North, and for that we should be grateful.

The pie itself has become so ingrained into football culture, it’s hard to imagine life without it. “Who ate all the sausage rolls” just doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, or hit the spot quite as well.

The art of producing a good pie at a football ground is important - and not just for soaking up alcohol or hitting the mid-afternoon lull. A pie experience - good or bad - tends to stick with you long after the match. I have more vivid memories of pies than mediocre games.

What, then, makes a good pie? Sturdy pastry that doesn’t collapse on biting is a must, a good about of gloopy goodness inside and chunks of whatever the filling is will always go down well. The pies served at the Socrates blogger meetup are about as good as you get for texture.

As for the contents of the pies, my preference is for the chicken balti, although I’m partial to a classic steak and kidney as well. And I’m certainly not against innovation, given the lengths I’ll go to for a Pie Minister pie (not, sadly, to my knowledge, currently supplying any grounds).

Having said that, the daddy of the current pies I’ve tasted is probably Holland’s Meat and Potato, which can be found largely around Lancashire. Burnley, for a brief period, were sponsored by them, which a reason for itself to visit Turf Moor.

After that, the quality varies. Pukka Pies are increasing in ubiquity in grounds and are inoffensive enough, although hardly hit any high notes - unless you’re including the scream when you burn the top of your mouth on an overly microwaved one.

A quick aside here for Rotherham, who added an element of uncertainly with their Pukka Pies selection. The day I visited was so busy the pies had got muddled up and the youth behind the counter couldn’t be sure what he’d sold us.

I got steak and kidney, my friend Rob drew the short straw with cheese and onion. Nonetheless, introducing an element of pie roulette could add an element of excitement to a dour 0-0 on a wet Tuesday night.

Sadly I’ve not visited three clubs renowned for the quality of their pies. Norwich fans, due to Delia, regularly wax lyrical to me about the quality of their pastry-based snacks, while common consensus from non-league level is Glossop North End have the best pie in England.

Then again, Tom Dickinson tried a pie at all 92 football league grounds and rated Morecambe’s the best he’d tasted. Alas, I’ve yet to make it to a game at either Christie Park or the Globe Arena.

Along with Southampton, Leyton Orient’s undercooked pie sticks in the mind as a disappointment, while, sadly, I’ve never been too impressed with my own club’s offerings at St James Park, even if we do have a hog roast stall outside the stadium.

And if I’m being really controversial, the pie isn’t always king. Bristol Rovers can do a fine pasty, while the sausage roll I had at Bromley was more vertical than horizontal and took two serviettes to wipe all the grease off my mouth and fingers. Lovely.

Then there’s Middlesbrough’s mythical parmo, which I’ve only recently been informed about by occasional twofootedtackle podcast guest Catherine Wilson. This artery-busting snack favoured in the north east is essentially chicken in batter topped with white sauce and cheese and, served with chips and salad, comes in at 2600 calories.

And no discussion of food at football is complete without a mention of Kidderminster’s excellent catering. It’s nearly four years since I visited Aggborough, so the quality may have changed, but the queues for the food kiosk were huge and those waiting were rewarded with a selection of curries.

On that note, and if you want to get radical, if we were ever to ditch pies then we should look to Germany for inspiration. Why the currywurst - sausage and curry sauce - has never caught on over here, I have no idea. If we’re embracing pan-European brotherly love, we could do wurst than introduce this at Champions League games.

But, while I’ll eat them if nothing else is available, I have little time for that snack kiosk interloper, the burger. There are some aspects of messing with tradition that go a little too far.

Tags: Bromley, Currywurst, Glossop North End, Holland's Pies, Kidderminster Harriers, Middlesbrough, Parmo, Pasties, Pie Minister, Pies, Rotherham United, Southampton